Top 5 Over Extended Film Franchises

"You're still here? Hey, I was going to say that!"

After of the release of the 5^th(!!!) Die Hard movie, where a near 60 year old Bruce Willis attempts to convince cinema goers that he is still capable of jumping out of windows and destroying crime syndicates despite the crows feet by his eyes, I have put together a list of the 5 most over-extended, overdone and we-wish-it-was-already-over film franchises. Ready? Here we go..

5) Die Hard

Saved by the fact the first two films were actually great, Die Hard began as Bruce Willis’s greatest success as an actor as he a played straight talking, cigarette smoking gunslinger that chased down terrorists and other easy-to-dislike bad guys. Then Die Hard 3 came out, then 4, and now we have 5. Bruce never dies. But we sort of wish he did.

4) Resident Evil

Virus spreads, Zombies run, it’s always behind you and Milla Jovovic always survives. Resident Evil started brilliantly – the first film grossed over $102m in the box office but the next four films soon became stagnant and boring. The story remained the same while the setting around it changed from abandoned lab to abandoned city to lab, to city. Even the sight of Jovovic’s nipples piercing through a poorly worn tank top became dull. Eventually.

3) Saw

The tediousness of the so called “torture porn” series where the justice obsessed “Jigsaw” abducts, ties up and gruesomely kills some morally bereft Americans is matched only by the gut wrenching nature of the poorly lit and over-CGI’d deaths that occupy 60% of the film. The fact that they killed off the killers character in the third instalment of the series has not stopped the producers creating a further three films, with a seventh in 3D, taking the disappointment to an entirely new medium. ‘I want to play a game..’ Again?!

2) Rocky

Montage, punching, montage, awful dialogue, montage, snapshot, Sly Stallone’s incessant mumblings and face like porridge. At first it was ok, when Mr T got involved it became like a circus act. Still speaking about the prospect of a Rocky VII like he’s not 66 and a visage that is slowly overtaking his mother’s for shock value, Rocky is the boxing film that we wished would’ve stayed down at the count.

1) Police Academy

Starting in 1984, featuring 7 films to date and the prospect of an 8^th, frighteningly embarrassing last grab at the cheap humour and age old slapstick jokes that made the prospect of the original sequel in 1985 seem like a pointless task, Police Academy is the ultimate in over-extended film franchises. Frankly, it’s amazing how it took them a year to put out the same film 7 times. Just do one each day and put us all out of our misery.